Revisiting the Mona Lisa

What's so damn great about the Mona Lisa?

Painted between 1503 and 1506 in Florence, Italy, the Mona Lisa is arguably the most famous painting in the world, as well as an instantly recognizable icon of present-day visual culture. But of all of Leonardo da Vinci's great works (and there are many), why is it the Mona Lisa? Afterall, it's just another portrait commissioned by a wealthy patron in the early 16th century. Lisa Gherardini Giacondo is seated in the center, hands delicately folded, with an ambiguous expression that slightly borders on a sly smile. She is situated in some kind of natural, outdoor environment as vague as her emotion.

How boring.

Yet for some reason, six million people insist on flocking to the Louvre Museum in Paris each year just to see her, where it is a part of its permanent collection. Even when they finally get to the room where the piece is hung, they can forget about getting close. Hoards of people in small bunches stand around it, fighting anybody who interferes with their ability to take their soon-to-be Facebook picture next to it. Most give up easily and accept the fact that they got a fifteen second glimpse and move on. But what it really comes down to is the experience--not the fact that you saw the Mona Lisa, but the fact that the Mona Lisa saw you.

Why not visit the other portrait galleries where other bored rich wives are on display? John Singleton Copley's 1771 painting of Mrs. Thomas Gage is also a crowd pleaser; why not stand in line for that? Sure, da Vinci used a new technique of blending light and shadow in the Mona Lisa but other artists and other works of art exhibit new approaches all the time. The Mona Lisa's popularity just got the best of her.

Bragging to friends about seeing the Mona Lisa can only get you so many cool points. Until the vast majority of the world's population beings to appreciate the painting for what it actually is instead of treating it otherwise, be prepared for disappointment.

Black Dogs by Jason Buhrmester

Money, sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll. These four things are, of course, the best things in life. And this book has got them all.

Set in suburban Maryland in the 1970s, Jason Buhrmester’s Black Dogs: The Possibly True Story of Classic Rock’s Greatest Robbery follows a group of young men as they plan their get rich quick schemes with oftentimes failing results. Told with wit, this short novel outlines Buhrmester’s idea of the events that may have led up to the true yet still unsolved mystery of who and how someone stole $200,000 from Led Zeppelin.

The plot unfolds through the eyes of the main character, Patrick. Patrick seems to be the only upstanding citizen with a conscience in his deadbeat town who actually had the means to get out of it and start a new life in New York City. However, he quickly goes back to his old ways moments upon his arrival thanks to his neighborhood high school friends who still rely on breaking the law to make a living. Alex, the other main character, was just released from prison after getting caught during a heist in which Patrick was able to get away. The two reunite at Alex’s welcome home party, along with their other friends Keith, Frenchy, and Danny, who, according to Buhrmester, are “guys who got the ‘burn out’ part down but forgot the ‘fade away.’”

Headed by Patrick, they concoct an ingenious plan to rob Led Zeppelin of the thousands of dollars that they reportedly get in cash after playing each show. Little do they know, it is going to require much more work than one night of mischief to actually succeed in robbing a legendary rock band. The group encounters a series of obstacles along the way, realizing that they need to rip off more people and businesses than ever in order to get remotely close to the big money. Just throw in some Black Sabbath, drinks, a holier-than-thou religious killer biker gang led by the gruesome Backwoods Billy, and the boys are officially in for the misadventure of their lives.

In real life, nobody sympathizes with criminals. Criminals are considered to be a bunch of bad apples who should be kept away. Now, either readers are just too used to the fact that their protagonists are always the good guys, or Buhrmester can fool anybody into feeling sorry for anyone. Although the characters’ incriminating pasts are established at the very beginning, audiences will grow to love--and even empathize with them--regardless of how many times they have gone to jail or how many people they’ve scammed. The bond between the group grows stronger as they continue caring for each other and learn how to place absolute trust in another as each distraction complicates achieving their main goal. One is instantly drawn into the distinct and vivid personalities of the individual and can find a part of themselves in that person, whether it’s a desirable quality or not.

Buhrmester also has a talent for crafting every scenario down to the very last detail so well that readers will find themselves racing next to the crew down the hallways of the Drake Hotel, hearts pounding and scrambling to find the money, all while trying not to get caught. His choice of language is so accurate and precise that if this book were to be adapted into a movie, a screenplay would be completely unnecessary. Buhrmester takes his time carefully laying out the groundwork so that every character, place, and object is well defined and has a purpose in the overarching story. The real action doesn’t even pick up until more than halfway through the narrative (but it’s worth the wait).

This work of fiction is a fun and quick read for anyone in the mood for some lighthearted entertainment. Although the book’s storytelling and plot devices are juvenile in nature, it surpasses the predictable category of young adult fiction. Adults will recall their smoke hazed teenage years, when the only thing that really mattered was the music and where the next party was going to be. Black Dogs captures the essence of adolescent culture in the 70s so that this generation’s youth is able to read it and appreciate it. Let's just hope they realize it's a fiction novel and they don't get any ideas.